Hello, beauties! Self-confidence is a delicate subject that we must be willing to talk about. I feel more than happy to write about it and give you a huge dose of self-love through this post.
For those who do not follow me on Instagram (@laurabretonf), a couple of weeks ago I made a poll about the topic you would like to see on the next blog post and the majority wanted a post dedicated to tips on self-confidence♥
Self-confidence is the key to live a meaningful life. Self-confidence is a feeling of assurance about yourself and your abilities, it lets us be the architect of our own future and happiness, it is taking charge of your negative feelings and telling them: “You know what? I am amazing and none of you (the feelings) are going to tear me down”. When we think about lack of self-confidence we kind of relate fear; fear of “what other people might think if I do this or I do that”. But if we really dive into ourselves we would understand that the only person responsible for your own feelings it’s no one but yourself.
These tips I am about to give you, are to put it in practice. I hope this tip will increase that confidence inside of you♥
How to be more confident?
- Get away from toxic people. Surround yourself with people who make you grow, who believe in you. We are all influenced by the people we are with. Look around and count the 5 closest people that you spend more time with and see if they give you positive energy most of the time. Some people are tired of life or their topics are always related to gossip about others… That’s not healthy. Sometimes our families are the ones who make us doubt about ourselves, sometimes it is our “closest” friends… I urge you to talk to them (if that’s the case) and tell them how you feel with certain comments and if they really love you, they will change; otherwise, you do not need them. Surround yourself with optimistic people who aspire you to become a better person, people who love life, who laugh and want the best for you.
2. Write daily on a paper (preferably in your diary) three things that you did well through the day or three situations where you succeed at. For example 1. Today I called (or visited her) my grandma and she was happy that I called (or visited), 2. Today at work I resolved a problem, 3. Today I applied for the job I wanted, and so on… As simple as it may seem you this little lists every day will help you focus on your greatness and what are you capable to do♥. Also remember what makes you YOU, remember, nobody can’t be you Appreciate who you are.
3. Fake it till you make it. Confidence is a lifetime process that needs to be worked on every day. How? GETTING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. You know that feeling of fear when you have to do something but you kind of try to avoid the issue cuz you feel insecure to accomplish it? Well, those are the times when you HAVE TO FAKE IT and DO IT. Cuz you know what? Most of the time you feel scared about the things that might excite us and THOSE THINGS are the ones that can make you grow, maybe that is what your heart really desires. Fake your “good communication skills” when you have to make a presentation, fake your “amazing confidence” to talk to other ppl. Eventually, you will believe you really can and will be more confident!! Do something that scares you once a day and then you will see. Be aware of your body language as well, think that you are confident and project it!
4. Look for solutions. STOP THINKING ABOUT THE PROBLEM. Your fears are not worth your energy. Spend that energy in executing. Make the most of what you already have and take advantage of it. Furthermore, IGNORE NEGATIVITY. I want to make this clear, I do not mean to hide the negativity to but turn it into something beautiful. Everything we have inside, good or bad, is useful and beautiful. From a bullied girl in elementary school (and the beginning of high school) I know what it feels to be ignored, alone, not appreciated from people that for some reason wanted to make you feel miserable, literally. I got very insecure during that time. Thank God I got to be surrounded by an amazing friend who taught me to IGNORE. JUST IGNORE. When you ignore negativity, it DOES NOT have power over you. When I started ignoring those people’s comments, I literally took charge of my own feelings and started having POWER. And you know what? Those who bullied me stopped going after me to make me feel bad, cuz they could not make me feel bad anymore. Furthermore, this is just an example, negativity comes in a lot of ways; depression, anxiety, fears, etc. I urge you to detect them and know “your own negativities” and IGNORE THEM to turn them to something beautiful. Period.
5. Learn from your failures. EVERYONE, even the most successful or confident people have dealt with failures and lack of self-confidence. I remember years ago when I had to play violin in front of EVERYBODY. Short story short, when I played the violin, one of the strings broke while playing in front of hundreds of people. I did horrible (obviously) and couldn’t finish the song. I felt mad and ashamed, people laughed at me and said I was not good enough. Having these types of experiences at a vulnerable age (I was 12) can be devastating and I said to myself I would never play the violin again. At that time, (I am a book addict) I read a quote that said that we could not let our negative experiences to be the last experience. So, I said to myself “My last experience playing violin cannot be that one”, so in another presentation, I played the SAME SONG I had to play when I was 12 in front of a lot of people and I did it amazing! I felt so proud of myself. This experience changed my way of thinking and I hope this tip change yours too. Don’t let ANYONE decide from you, don’t let ANYONE tell you who you are… It’s your duty to figure it out by yourself. Ponder what you want to accomplish and how to do it. BE YOUR own BOSS. You are worthy of self and other people appreciation, DO NOT define yourself by your failures but for what you learned and your genuine intention towards it. Are you ready to learn and face those failures and make them a victory? Remember you are your human laboratory, be ready to experiment failures and learn from it.
6. Stop comparing yourself to others. We always think the grass is greener on the other side. Let’s start talking about social media: you go on Instagram and all you see are people happy about their life, buying stuff, visiting a bunch of places, traveling around the world…and you get depressed because your life is not as good as the others, bla bla bla… But let me tell you something… They just show the good side of their lives, all of us do. You do not know how much they worked to be able to afford their lifestyle, how much they sacrifice to graduate from college or to learn the skills they show on social media, and so on. You can use social media as a positive inspiration (depending on the accounts you follow) or a space to compare yourself ( or even get jealous), to feel worthless and do not recognize the good things God is already offering your life. Embrace the opportunity you have to come to this earth and DO YOU! While you are doing YOU, you will not be thinking about other peoples life.
And the last tip;
7. EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE. Embrace your failures, your victories, your personality… It’s your identity and no one can take it away from you. No one is YOU and that’s your power! We are a “work in process”. Take control of your life and own it! It doesn’t matter your past, where you come from or what people think of you. It doesn’t matter because you are the one in charge to turn your past as a real motor for your success. We all have the opportunity to change for the better, if you think your behavior is not in harmony with who you want to be, I invite you to work on yourself to be your best version♥
I was writing this post a lot of ideas came to my mind and I think I did not write them all in this post because I didn’t want it to make it too long. If you like this post PLEASE like and comment in the comment section and tell me if you want the second part! It would be more than a pleasure to keep writing about this!
Are you ready to work on your confidence? I hope you have an amazing working on this!